Our approach · couples counseling
Couples counseling for older adults.
Long marriages, second marriages, partnerships that have weathered things and partnerships that are weathering them now. Two people in the room with a clinician trained in later-life couple work.
What couples counseling is
Two of you, one clinician, one hour.
Couples counseling is the two of you, working with a single clinician, on whatever the partnership is asking you to work on. Most couples come in weekly or every other week, an hour at a time, in our Pasadena office or by secure video. Either of you can do individual therapy alongside it — and many people do.
What makes it couples counseling for older adults is the territory. A 35-year marriage has a different gravity than a five-year one. The fight you're having now is rarely just about the dishwasher; it's also about the version of the dishwasher fight you had in 1987. We work with the long arc of the relationship as well as the present moment.
Who couples counseling fits
Late-life partnership work.
Retirement together
The first time you've been around each other this much in 40 years. Some couples thrive; many find friction nobody warned them about.
Illness in the partnership
One of you is the patient; one of you is becoming the caregiver. The roles are shifting and you both feel it. We help name what's happening.
Late-life remarriage
Blended families, two histories, adult children with opinions. The work is real and the love is too — sometimes both at the same hour.
End-of-life conversations
Wills, wishes, what one of you wants the other to know. We can hold that conversation when home isn't the right room for it.
Old patterns, new pressure
The dynamic that worked at 40 doesn't fit at 70. Communication, intimacy, money, the silent ledger — all of it can be reworked.
Considering separation
Late-life separation is more common than people think. We don't push toward staying or leaving — we help you both see clearly.
How it works
A shape both of you can use.
The first session
Both of you in the room together. We hear from each of you about what brought you in and what you're hoping for. We sometimes meet each of you individually for a single session after that, to hear things that are easier to say one at a time. Then we come back together.
The work itself
We use evidence-based methods adapted for older couples — Gottman-method foundations, emotion-focused work, behavioral approaches. We name the dynamic you keep getting stuck in, then practice changing it in the room.
Cadence and length
Weekly or every other week to start. Many couples are doing better in 8–16 sessions; others stay longer. We check in out loud about how it's going and whether the format still fits.
Common questions
About couples counseling.
How is couples work different in later life?
Older couples are often working with a long shared history — sometimes 30, 40, 50 years. We honor that. We also work with the specific terrain of later life: retirement, illness, caregiving, the loss of friends, end-of-life conversations, sometimes a recent remarriage.
What if only one of us wants to come?
That's worth talking about. Sometimes one partner starts in individual therapy and the couple comes in later; sometimes a single consultation helps both partners decide. We don't push either of you into something you haven't agreed to.
Does Medicare cover couples therapy?
Medicare typically covers individual therapy with a clear diagnosis; couples therapy itself is not always a covered benefit. We'll talk through coverage and self-pay rates honestly before your first session, with no surprises. Call (626) 354-6440 and we'll work through it with you.
Can we do couples sessions by video?
Yes. Telehealth couples work is common — partners join from the same screen or two separate ones. We troubleshoot the tech without making anyone feel small.
What about adult children, in-laws, or other family?
That's a different format — see family therapy. Some couples do both: regular couples work plus an occasional family meeting when something specific needs the wider room.
Other formats
If couples work isn't the right fit right now.
Individual therapy
One-on-one work. The most common format. Quiet, private, paced for later life.
Family therapy
You, your partner, the kids — the wider room. Caregiving, role shifts, the hard conversations.
Group counseling
Peers and a clinician in a small group. When we have an open group running.
Take the first step together.
You don't have to know what to call it. We'll help you both find the words.